Hilarious Spam Mails

Mail 1

I removed a couple of html tags, but otherwise, the mail is reproduced "as received"!

     
กก     Please Monopolize World Soccer Markets

Soccer talent likes fire, train likes wind.
When a big fire meets a big wind, then the fire must become a power to burn up prairie and can't be stopped!!!

Present soccer only belongs to soccer talents. But the top soccer talents are very limited. So long as you can collect 300 top soccer talents in the future, then probably you can monopolize world top soccer talents in the future. After training them into soccer stars,  you will monopolize world soccer markets and  champion teams in the future, and must become the boss of  the world soccer monoply group. I have ability to make you monopolize top soccer talents in the future, and to make you monopolize world champion teams, and to make you earn 1000 million $ in 15 years. Certainly you must have enough money.

The theory about talent please see human brain software.

"Human brain software" can completely solve the question as follows:
1. The motive force of human evolution;
2. Human clock system;
3. Human Intellectual Genes;
4. DOS system and Windows system about human brain;
5. Origin and prodiction of human talent;
6. How to monopolize world soccer markets in the future.

กก

 กก
กก

Mail 2 (the bold and underline are mine)

"My names is PRINCE DAVID MAPUKA...BUT, before he died HE WROTE HIS WILL, which reads "(MY BELOVEED SON ,I WISH TO DRAW YOUR ATTENTION TO THE SUM OF ($21,000,000).TWENTY ONE MILLION U.S DOLLARS WHICH I DEPOSITED IN A BOX WITH A SECURITY COMPANY INJOHANNESBURG (SOUTH-AFRICA). IN CASE OF MY ABSENCE ON EARTH CAUSED BY DEATH ONLY". You should solicit ..."

Mail 3 (a part reproduced)

"... Many top government officials and senior army officers were assasinated and my father was a key target because of his very sensitive military possition and appointment in the SLDMC. Regreatably, my father was captured and murdered along with half brother in cool blood during a mid-night rebel shoot-out when our official residence in freetown was armbushed by Fordey Sanko the notorious rebel leader. ..."

Mail 4 (a part reproduced)

"... I AM MISS NINA,OMUNO, 25YS,AND MY BROTHER MASTER WILLSON OMUNO,23YS, WE ARE THE CHILDREN OF LATE ALAHAJI TAEMU OMUNO, THE FORMER MINISTER OF FINANCE TO THE GOVERNMENT OF TEJAN KABBAH OF SERRIA LEONE THAT PASS AWAY ON A BRIEF ILLNESS IN ENGLAND ON MAY 2nd 2001, BEFORE HIS DEATH HE REVEAL TO US THAT HE WAS POSION BY THE MEMBERS OF THE GOVERNMENT COLOBORATED WITH THE PRESIDENT JUST BECAUSE OF SOME FUND THAT THEY SHARED TOGETHER HOPING THAT OUR LATE FATHER WILL LET THEM HAVE ACCESS TO THE GOVERNMENT FUND,BUT OUR LATE FATHER LATTER DISSAPOINT THEM HENCE WHY HE WAS POISONED. ...".